June

Melvin, with his energy and love of people, will be missed in countless ways.

Alyson's Memories of Daddy

I am Daddy’s youngest girl. He always reminded me he was 37 when I was born, just like Granddaddy was when Daddy was born.

When I was little, he called me Nut, because I was cute as a nut. And one of my preschool teachers told him that he simply could not call one of his daughter’s “Nut.” It just wasn’t appropriate. So he stopped calling me Nut. A week or so later I asked him why he didn’t love me anymore. If he didn’t call me Nut, he obviously didn’t love me. He never failed to call me Nut throughout my childhood again, even when I adamantly protested. He called Cecelia Squirt. She called him Big Squirt.

While at MSMS I had a sculpture project that involved creating a bust of someone. Daddy was sweet enough to grow a beard for me so I would have less face to create for my project. After the numerous pictures I took I was able to convince him to shave off the beard into a goatee. He only kept it for a week even though I thought he looked hip and cool. I got in dorm suspension that same year while going to have pictures taken for Mom’s 50^th birthday. Daddy defended me fiercely, but to no avail. From then on whenever he signed me out, his name had a “UY” on the end. Mine did too after he explained that even though we couldn’t do anything about the situation we could quietly tell them “Up Yours.” I will miss his sense of humor and understanding of how the world works.

Daddy would make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each morning. One for his breakfast, and one for each of us for lunch. In mine he would draw a heart, or a star, or a happy face, because when I was in preschool the mom of another child started the trend. After I had Cecelia, I called Daddy to tell him she was a girl, and I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The first thing I did was open it to see if there was a message. It read I *heart* U.

Supposedly, Mom and Daddy had an agreement that she got up with us the first year, and he had to after that. Whenever we got sick in the night he would rush to our aid. He was amazingly talented at holding a wet wash cloth on our forehead with one hand and our ponytails with the other. I have never met anyone else that was that masterful, and greatly appreciated it when I was pregnant.

Daddy would read the Berenstain Bears books to me as a little girl. He would read through yawns and try to skip pages. When I tried the same tactics with my own daughter, he promptly notified me that he could not understand what I just said and I missed a page, with a twinkle in his eye.

He taught me to play pick-up sticks on hard surfaces, as he said playing on carpet was cheating. We would play dominoes for hours on end. First with double sixes, and then when our math skills improved double nines, and finally double twelves. His ability to work with numbers so quickly amazed me and I never realized until later he was teaching us while we played.

Daddy was an avid reader. Nothing in particular, just whatever book was nearby. We had a set bedtime but on more than one occasion it was overlooked if you were particularly swept up in a good book.

He and I would always go see the newest James Bond movies together and watch the marathon’s whenever they came on TV. I will miss laughing at them and him slowly finding out what was going on in my life without me realizing it.

He taught me to drive my car, the four-wheelers, and later the tractor, all experiences included at least one eyebrow of frustration being raised.

I will miss the twinkle in his eyes and his crow’s feet. I look so much like mom, but I knew I had his eyes. I always wondered what his crow’s feet would look like when he got old and how long it would take mine to get that deep.

I ran cross-country in junior high. He fought me tooth and nail over it because he said it was bad on your knees. Eventually he let me run, but one particular day I didn’t feel like running and he said he would run with me. I had never seen him run before or since, but that day he ran with me, well way ahead of me, and when I was ready to stop, he told me he would run another lap. I was sitting panting in the driveway when he came back around. He picked up the newspaper and went inside to read and not once was he out of breath. I will miss being amazed by what he was capable of.

I played softball when I was ten. Mom washed my uniform before the game but my sports bra accidentally got left in the washer. While I got ready to go, Daddy sat in the bathroom drying my sports bra with a hair-dryer. I seriously doubt it phased him.

Daddy taught us to be independent, open minded, and strong females. I will miss not be able to go to him and debate politics and social mores.

I don’t drink coffee. Instead I follow Daddy’s lead and have a can of coke each morning. Christmas morning he bounced in the house at 6:30 with a coke stuffed in each coat pocket. One for him, and one for me, just in case I didn’t have any in the fridge. (I just put a pack in the night before to make sure I was ready.)

Junior high was rough for me considering I was a foot taller than anyone else, including my crush. While I sobbed my worries away each afternoon, Daddy would come in and rub my hair and tell me that he loved me, I was smart, and beautiful, and funny, and if some boy couldn’t see that, they didn’t deserve me. It didn’t help the crush, but I never doubted any of the rest. I will miss him being able to give me confidence in a way no one else can.

Mustachioed Motorcycle Man

From Imogene:

I will never forget the first time I saw Melvin.

We had just moved from Ohio to a little house on Kirkside on August 2, 1982. We rented this house from Jan's boss and found it literally crawling with bugs. I called the landlord and told him that something had to be done about this problem immediately. He promised to send someone to spray.

A couple of hours later, this motorcycle roared into the driveway, and a mustachioed (and I think I remember, bearded) man crawled off with a sprayer on his back.

Whoa - I called the landlord and asked about this strange guy.

On his assurance, Melvin and I became acquainted - and friends.

Ann and Bud

Whenever we share memories of Mississippi with new friends, it always includes at least one story of Melvin.

He was and is a great man - a loving family man who worked hard but enjoyed life. We always loved his smile and amusing stories. We will always remember and treasure him in our hearts.

Daddy's "Eldest" Girl

I don't think it is fair for me to ask for your memories without sharing my own, so I've started a list.

I'll be adding to it. Often.

I'll miss all the big things that everyone has mentioned, but it is the thousand-million little things that I'll miss the most.

No one else has ever told me that he'll be home "at dark-thirty."

I never really loved using the term "bones" for dominoes, but will anyone ever ask me again if I want to "rattle 'em bones"?

Daddy was the best shot I have ever seen - with a rubber band. He could hit anything, or anyone, and he made it look effortless. We gave him a rubber band gun a while back, but he didn't use it - he only needed his hand.

When one of us was being particularly awkward or uncoordinated, Daddy would say,
"Way to go, Grace."
When it was all three of us, he announced us as "Talent, Grace, and Coordination."

I miss the raised eyebrow.
A lot.

Other people want to see how the dress looks on the girl. Daddy wanted to see how The GIRL (or, more specifically, HIS GIRL) looks in the dress.

I never saw Daddy without his moustache. I didn't really think I ever would, but it was fun to joke about him shaving it off and showing up at some important event to surprise us.

Aly has had several nicknames through the years, but only Daddy called her "Nut".

I miss the voice that got so deep it growled like thunder - when he was furious. (Remember how you couldn't even understand the words, you could just hear the rumbling when the Board of Aldermen meetings were on television?)

Mardi Gras is only a few weeks away, and the parades have already started here. We always catch dozens more Moon Pies than we can eat, and we save the rest for Poppa. Who will eat them now?

(Note: We found an answer for this at the very first parade - Poppa's Grandson loves Moon Pies as much as Poppa did!)

Every time that I can remember calling Daddy, he answered with "Hey, Girl!" He never once just said hello, and he always sounded thrilled that I had called - no matter where or when or why I was calling.

Missing my Daddy, Tiff

Walker

Jan - Mel and I were room/tent mates during a very special time for us. I am truly saddened by his passing. I don't think a day went by that he didn't speak your name during our tour together. He was a special person. 

Martha

Melvin helped me so much when I first moved into my house - even when he was busy. I will never forget that as well as him encouraging my son to learn more about his grandmother's tree farm. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that he touched so many lives with generosity and kindness. Love, Martha

Sara

I remember so well your dad making those delicious pancakes for us in the morning & saying hello on my walks around the neighborhood in college. He seemed to always have a twinkle in his eye & be so filled with joy, ready to laugh at any time. :)

Kathy

Melvin came to our home several times to do repairs, and though it seems strange, I really felt like I go to know him. He was always so willing to help with small repairs (most people wouldn't bother), he always had a smile, and he always had good advice.

He really was a special man. Those people, the ones that have a kind heart and really try to help people by teaching them (he gave it his best shot with me & quirky light fixtures) are hard to come by. But he was one of them. I will miss him.

Ellen

I will miss Melvin & the smile that always seemed to grace his face.

Reflections from Marcus

After almost 20 years with Melvin, this list is long, and will be in a constant state of updating.

1. When we repainted our first house, Melvin didn't think much of the color palette. But, he didn't argue (except for the trademarked raised eyebrow) and got all of his equipment out and went to work. Before it was over, he liked the colors so much that he painted one of his own rental houses in the same palette.

2. When Hurricane Ivan was bearing down on our house in Fairhope back in 2004, Melvin rushed to the Lowe's in Columbus to get a truckload of plywood and drove to Fairhope to measure, cut, & install window protection on our house, and our dear friends Pam & Cindy's house as well. He then took the children with him back to Starkville for us to ride out the storm. We ended up losing our nerve a few hours later and headed to Starkville, but he did everything that he could to protect our property and his grandchildren.

3. Every Valentine's day, Melvin would go and select cards for each of his children and grandchildren, sign then, and mail them. Few men would think to use the occasion to express their love to anyone other than their spouse.

4. Melvin always said the best prayer at the Thanksgiving meal. He was sincere, and would often get choked up on his sentiment. It will be very difficult to have another Thanksgiving without him.

Thanksgiving Dinner, 2007 - Fairhope, AL

5. The city dug up a large portion of one of the neighbor's yards to install a new sewer line. Poppa took advantage of the newly tilled soil to be mischievous, and would take frequent walks around the block with a pocket full of turnip seeds. He would sow a hand-full each time he passed by. It was a bountiful crop.

6. In the late 80s & early 90s, Melvin & the family developed a passion for hot-air ballooning. Melvin loved to head up the ground crew and chase the balloon to it's landing site. We had some interesting experiences with several different pilots. One fool crashed into a large oak tree at one festival and ripped the balloon open. Melvin spent several hours with a special tape putting it back together in a hotel parking light using a street light for visibility. Another one landed in a field that was completely inaccessible via automobile. We had to take the entire balloon and basket apart and walk it out piece by piece. But we had some wonderful trips to different parts of the state and had a blast at balloon festivals.

7. Melvin gave Jan a beautiful amethyst ring with a gold inlay in the top of the stone for her 40th birthday. She had seen it somewhere and expressed a desire for it, and he secretly bought it for her. It was secured in the middle of a large Dutch iris blossom, and she almost didn't even see it. She was thrilled, and Melvin was so pleased with himself.

8. There is a beaver infestation on the tree farm. Melvin & a friend would spend a lot of time out there a few years ago blowing up their dams with dynamite. He complained about the beavers, but he sure did love trying to get rid of them. When we were trying to come up with a name for the farm, I really thought that it should be "Beaver Chase", but I didn't win.



9. There is really no way to estimate how many books Melvin read. When he would come to Fairhope, he always dropped by the hospital gift shop, which sells used paperbacks very inexpensively. He would fill up a grocery bag and take them home. When he would make the next trip, he would bring a bag back and drop off at the hospital to be resold.

10. Melvin loved a nice glass of Scotch in the early evening. It was an almost every day ritual. I don't know that I ever saw him drink any other alcohol, and he never came close to drinking in excess. But he got great pleasure from that drink.

11. Every Christmas, Melvin would make huge amounts of Martha Washington candy. (Click here for his recipe.) He didn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen during any other part of the year, but he loved doing holiday candies.

12. Melvin changed career paths every few years. I hope to put together a complete list soon, but for now this is what I can think of: accountant (he had a degree from Mississippi College in accounting), mortician, something in mobile home manufacturing, proprietor of a county line beer joint & restaurant, liquor store owner & operator, licensed realtor, mechanic at his tire shop, running a collection agency, managing rental property, taking classes to learn about timber management, and operating a small repair business as a licensed contractor. If he was ever bored or unhappy with a career path, he found a new one. There is certainly a lesson in that for all of us. (Additions: Melvin also had some side money-making enterprises at one time or another as well: (1.) balloon shop (2.) traveling snow cone truck (3.) flashing arrow sign rentals (4.) occasional used car sales)

13. To have not been a Louisiana native, Melvin loved a good gumbo and red beans & rice more than anyone I know.

14. There was a board game back in the 60s & 70s called Acquire. I had never heard of this game until I joined the Rhodes family. It was a family favorite, and I quickly became a fan as well. It requires a high level of strategy, the ability to look several steps ahead, and a little business sense. Melvin almost always won.

15. Several years ago, Melvin became enamored with bread machine baking for a while. He went through at least two machines, and countless loaves, and turned out some pretty good bread. (In this photo, he has his bread machine at our house baking on Christmas morning.)

16. Melvin loved Wendy's. I'm not sure why. But he would have lunch there most days. It was even his last meal. He & Jan met for lunch, and then he headed to the farm.

17. Melvin also had an abiding love of Coca-Cola. When they would be here visiting, Jan would head straight for the coffee pot, but Melvin headed next door to Walgreen's for a Coke. He didn't go very long without one.

18. Melvin was an adamant Republican. He & I rarely agreed on anything when it came to politics. We learned to just not discuss most issues.

19. To have been an alum of Mississippi College, I never knew of him to set foot on the campus. Melvin was a devoted fan & proponent of Mississippi State University.

20. Back when he had the tire shop business, he also served as a state vehicle inspection station. He would not let anything slide, and no one got to skip the inspection process, not even his wife or children.

21. Veteran's day is a bigger deal here in Alabama than it was in Mississippi. It is even a school holiday. Fairhope Elementary puts on a great Veteran's day program every year, and Melvin drove down for it when each girl was participating. All the students could put a picture of a veteran from their family, and he was very proud to have his on the board.

 

22. In the spring of 1999, the kids made a slip & slide out of large construction-grade garbage bags & dish soap in the Rhode's front yard. Even Melvin took a trip or two down the thing. All of the adults were horribly sore the next day, but he didn't complain. 

 

23. Melvin made the most god-awful version of cole slaw, at least to my taste. He grated the cabbage very coarsely, and I like it to be extremely fine. His idea of seasoning it was squirting some mustard into it and stirring. I like mayo & sugar. Several times, I said to Lorraine that I never wanted to see it again. Sadly, now I won't.

Cindy E.

I was very sad to get the news of Mr. Rhodes' passing the morning after we arrived in Indianola. But I was very thankful that we were already there, and that we could go pay our respects to Mar and Lo. I don't have many memories of him, but I remember him as probably the first adult to treat me more as an equal than as a child. No matter how infrequently I saw him and his family, they always welcome me with a smile and a hug. I know I'm mixing my tenses here, but it's just so hard to speak of him in the past tense.

Chester L.

Your Dad did some wonderful things for Starkville.
He did a great job raising some fine women.
He gave me some wonderful advice while in public office.
I will remember you in prayers. I hope you and the "grandkids" are doing well.