Alex

I remember him playng songs on the Jukebox at the Len Lew so I could record them.

I remember one summer, he paid a local fisherman to take me out fishing, so I could catch different species of fish, for a Boy Scout Merit Badge- the other guy caught all types of fish, but I couln't get a strike/bite.

I rember how he let us eat or drink whatever we wanted at the Len Lew when we stayed there.

I remember the summer he taught me how to string a barb wire fence-

and I got a huge water blister on my ear.

He also taught me about Rhuli-gel for mosquito and chigger bites.

I remember the pond by the Len Lew- it had catfish that were "trained" to eat only hot dogs.

That pond was full of turtles that would bite at your bobber-

he bet me a nickle that I could not catch one.

Don't think he ever gave me that nickle though...

I know he paid a guy at the Len Lew to teach me to play PinBall, and pool.

I remember a puzzle he had- clear plastic rods, put together in a cube.

He told me that he had never been able to take it apart.

It was in a pile of pieces when I left that week-

got it apart, but never back together.

He was surprised when I was happy reading his copies of "Mother Earth News."

Speaking of reading- he intoduced me to one of his favorites- Nero Wolfe. Still love reading his mysteries when I have time,

and have always thought of Melvin when I did.

I remember being the ring boy at their wedding,

and Charlie was best man.

I held that stupid pillow with a ring on it through the entire ceremony.

When I asked what happened after the ceremony-

Charlie took HIS wedding ring off the pillow.

He had kept the real ring, and had me carry the imposter-

they were afraid I would drop her ring.

I remember the Yellow Squash Yuck Bug.

Memories from Marcus, continued.

Instead of adding to my previous post, I thought I would just start a new one.
(And I thought I would add my own insights to my husband's memories...tlm)

1. It must have been the fall of 1991 or the summer of 1992. Lorraine & I were not married, and hadn't even considered the idea. The "Wonders" series of international exhibitions was going strong in Memphis, and the Rhodes clan had attended the previous blockbuster, "Catherine the Great." So, they invited me along to see the "Ottoman Sultans." This was when they had that great Toyota van, with the engine basically underneath the driver & front passenger. The middle-row seats rotated all the way around, so the back of the car could have a little party along the way. Somehow, I got voted to drive...... the entire Rhodes family in my charge..... all the way to Memphis and into downtown to the Convention center. I was scared to death, as I had never before been to Memphis, and now was about to drive all around it. But Melvin sat up in the passenger seat, never seemed worried at all, and actually took a good bit of pleasure at my discomfort. It was a great trip.

2. In August of 1991, just before Jan's father died, I was invited to tag along with the Rhodes family to the balloon races in Corinth, MS. I had never seen a hot air balloon, much less been close to one, and it was a tremendous treat that instilled a desire to one day have my own balloon. That day will come later on. At some point on the trip, we landed at the "mall" in Corinth. This was a rather sad place, as most of the stores had gone out of business. For some reason that escapes me now, all of the girls & I began speaking with an exaggerated Southern drawl and referred to Melvin as "Colonel Daddy." Melvin got quite a kick out of it, and played right along. This carried right on into the local Wal-Mart, where some back-to-school shopping had to be done, as school was beginning the next week. The looks on some of the folk's faces was priceless.
(Not only did Daddy play along, he began calling us the most Southern-sounding names imaginable: Magnolia Blossom, Camellia Bloom, and Sweet Pea. He even called Marcus "Junior". In addition to all of that, Colonel Daddy also walked with a limp...)

3. While Lorraine & I were at Walt Disney World, Melvin & Jan drove down twice during the four months to visit.

On the second trip, as we were nearing the end of our time there, they drove back Lorraine's car and a lot of our stuff. There was a cast-member only store at the Magic Kingdom that sold merchandise at drastically reduced prices. At some point while we were there, they had a life-size Mickey & Minnie that became available. Lorraine bought them. They  took up the entire back seat of Lorraine's car on the way home. Melvin loved the looks from people on the road as he would pass them and they would realize that Mickey & Minnie were in the car. (Daddy reported that he did his best Disney wave to everyone he saw along the road.)

4. Melvin & I did not do very much by ourselves, but he & I both wanted to see the movie "Castaway" when it came out. So, we loaded up and headed to the theater. I loved it, but he only found it to be mediocre. (Not surprising that a man who lived in a house with a wife and three daughters wouldn't be too impressed by a movie with almost no dialogue - it was probably the longest "quiet time" he had ever had.)

5. For Christmas of 2000, the Rhodes clan took a big family trip to Gatlinburg, TN. We stayed in a fabulous chalet up on top of the mountain. Jan & Melvin got there several hours before the Moseley's arrived, but the met us at the bottom of the mountain to lead us up. It was very cold that week, never getting above freezing. There was snow on the ground, and we were somewhat nervous about heading up those narrow winding roads in the dark. Melvin took off like a bat out of hell, and we had no choice but to keep up. The road had no shoulder, and you had the choice of colliding with a sheer wall of mountain, or an immediate drop of hundreds of feet off the side of the mountain. There were literally cars in the trees on the side of the road that had missed a curve and gone off the mountain. It was more than a little nerve-wracking, but we made it. (Seriously: there were cars suspended in mid-air on trees and utility poles. At least one of the girls was in tears before we were halfway up, and I didn't blame her one bit!)

Daddy's "Eldest" Girl

I don't think it is fair for me to ask for your memories without sharing my own, so I've started a list.

I'll be adding to it. Often.

I'll miss all the big things that everyone has mentioned, but it is the thousand-million little things that I'll miss the most.

No one else has ever told me that he'll be home "at dark-thirty."

I never really loved using the term "bones" for dominoes, but will anyone ever ask me again if I want to "rattle 'em bones"?

Daddy was the best shot I have ever seen - with a rubber band. He could hit anything, or anyone, and he made it look effortless. We gave him a rubber band gun a while back, but he didn't use it - he only needed his hand.

When one of us was being particularly awkward or uncoordinated, Daddy would say,
"Way to go, Grace."
When it was all three of us, he announced us as "Talent, Grace, and Coordination."

I miss the raised eyebrow.
A lot.

Other people want to see how the dress looks on the girl. Daddy wanted to see how The GIRL (or, more specifically, HIS GIRL) looks in the dress.

I never saw Daddy without his moustache. I didn't really think I ever would, but it was fun to joke about him shaving it off and showing up at some important event to surprise us.

Aly has had several nicknames through the years, but only Daddy called her "Nut".

I miss the voice that got so deep it growled like thunder - when he was furious. (Remember how you couldn't even understand the words, you could just hear the rumbling when the Board of Aldermen meetings were on television?)

Mardi Gras is only a few weeks away, and the parades have already started here. We always catch dozens more Moon Pies than we can eat, and we save the rest for Poppa. Who will eat them now?

(Note: We found an answer for this at the very first parade - Poppa's Grandson loves Moon Pies as much as Poppa did!)

Every time that I can remember calling Daddy, he answered with "Hey, Girl!" He never once just said hello, and he always sounded thrilled that I had called - no matter where or when or why I was calling.

Missing my Daddy, Tiff

Martha

Melvin helped me so much when I first moved into my house - even when he was busy. I will never forget that as well as him encouraging my son to learn more about his grandmother's tree farm. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that he touched so many lives with generosity and kindness. Love, Martha

Reflections from Marcus

After almost 20 years with Melvin, this list is long, and will be in a constant state of updating.

1. When we repainted our first house, Melvin didn't think much of the color palette. But, he didn't argue (except for the trademarked raised eyebrow) and got all of his equipment out and went to work. Before it was over, he liked the colors so much that he painted one of his own rental houses in the same palette.

2. When Hurricane Ivan was bearing down on our house in Fairhope back in 2004, Melvin rushed to the Lowe's in Columbus to get a truckload of plywood and drove to Fairhope to measure, cut, & install window protection on our house, and our dear friends Pam & Cindy's house as well. He then took the children with him back to Starkville for us to ride out the storm. We ended up losing our nerve a few hours later and headed to Starkville, but he did everything that he could to protect our property and his grandchildren.

3. Every Valentine's day, Melvin would go and select cards for each of his children and grandchildren, sign then, and mail them. Few men would think to use the occasion to express their love to anyone other than their spouse.

4. Melvin always said the best prayer at the Thanksgiving meal. He was sincere, and would often get choked up on his sentiment. It will be very difficult to have another Thanksgiving without him.

Thanksgiving Dinner, 2007 - Fairhope, AL

5. The city dug up a large portion of one of the neighbor's yards to install a new sewer line. Poppa took advantage of the newly tilled soil to be mischievous, and would take frequent walks around the block with a pocket full of turnip seeds. He would sow a hand-full each time he passed by. It was a bountiful crop.

6. In the late 80s & early 90s, Melvin & the family developed a passion for hot-air ballooning. Melvin loved to head up the ground crew and chase the balloon to it's landing site. We had some interesting experiences with several different pilots. One fool crashed into a large oak tree at one festival and ripped the balloon open. Melvin spent several hours with a special tape putting it back together in a hotel parking light using a street light for visibility. Another one landed in a field that was completely inaccessible via automobile. We had to take the entire balloon and basket apart and walk it out piece by piece. But we had some wonderful trips to different parts of the state and had a blast at balloon festivals.

7. Melvin gave Jan a beautiful amethyst ring with a gold inlay in the top of the stone for her 40th birthday. She had seen it somewhere and expressed a desire for it, and he secretly bought it for her. It was secured in the middle of a large Dutch iris blossom, and she almost didn't even see it. She was thrilled, and Melvin was so pleased with himself.

8. There is a beaver infestation on the tree farm. Melvin & a friend would spend a lot of time out there a few years ago blowing up their dams with dynamite. He complained about the beavers, but he sure did love trying to get rid of them. When we were trying to come up with a name for the farm, I really thought that it should be "Beaver Chase", but I didn't win.



9. There is really no way to estimate how many books Melvin read. When he would come to Fairhope, he always dropped by the hospital gift shop, which sells used paperbacks very inexpensively. He would fill up a grocery bag and take them home. When he would make the next trip, he would bring a bag back and drop off at the hospital to be resold.

10. Melvin loved a nice glass of Scotch in the early evening. It was an almost every day ritual. I don't know that I ever saw him drink any other alcohol, and he never came close to drinking in excess. But he got great pleasure from that drink.

11. Every Christmas, Melvin would make huge amounts of Martha Washington candy. (Click here for his recipe.) He didn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen during any other part of the year, but he loved doing holiday candies.

12. Melvin changed career paths every few years. I hope to put together a complete list soon, but for now this is what I can think of: accountant (he had a degree from Mississippi College in accounting), mortician, something in mobile home manufacturing, proprietor of a county line beer joint & restaurant, liquor store owner & operator, licensed realtor, mechanic at his tire shop, running a collection agency, managing rental property, taking classes to learn about timber management, and operating a small repair business as a licensed contractor. If he was ever bored or unhappy with a career path, he found a new one. There is certainly a lesson in that for all of us. (Additions: Melvin also had some side money-making enterprises at one time or another as well: (1.) balloon shop (2.) traveling snow cone truck (3.) flashing arrow sign rentals (4.) occasional used car sales)

13. To have not been a Louisiana native, Melvin loved a good gumbo and red beans & rice more than anyone I know.

14. There was a board game back in the 60s & 70s called Acquire. I had never heard of this game until I joined the Rhodes family. It was a family favorite, and I quickly became a fan as well. It requires a high level of strategy, the ability to look several steps ahead, and a little business sense. Melvin almost always won.

15. Several years ago, Melvin became enamored with bread machine baking for a while. He went through at least two machines, and countless loaves, and turned out some pretty good bread. (In this photo, he has his bread machine at our house baking on Christmas morning.)

16. Melvin loved Wendy's. I'm not sure why. But he would have lunch there most days. It was even his last meal. He & Jan met for lunch, and then he headed to the farm.

17. Melvin also had an abiding love of Coca-Cola. When they would be here visiting, Jan would head straight for the coffee pot, but Melvin headed next door to Walgreen's for a Coke. He didn't go very long without one.

18. Melvin was an adamant Republican. He & I rarely agreed on anything when it came to politics. We learned to just not discuss most issues.

19. To have been an alum of Mississippi College, I never knew of him to set foot on the campus. Melvin was a devoted fan & proponent of Mississippi State University.

20. Back when he had the tire shop business, he also served as a state vehicle inspection station. He would not let anything slide, and no one got to skip the inspection process, not even his wife or children.

21. Veteran's day is a bigger deal here in Alabama than it was in Mississippi. It is even a school holiday. Fairhope Elementary puts on a great Veteran's day program every year, and Melvin drove down for it when each girl was participating. All the students could put a picture of a veteran from their family, and he was very proud to have his on the board.

 

22. In the spring of 1999, the kids made a slip & slide out of large construction-grade garbage bags & dish soap in the Rhode's front yard. Even Melvin took a trip or two down the thing. All of the adults were horribly sore the next day, but he didn't complain. 

 

23. Melvin made the most god-awful version of cole slaw, at least to my taste. He grated the cabbage very coarsely, and I like it to be extremely fine. His idea of seasoning it was squirting some mustard into it and stirring. I like mayo & sugar. Several times, I said to Lorraine that I never wanted to see it again. Sadly, now I won't.

Jennie V.

Loss

I want to take a minute to talk about the passing of Melvin Rhodes.

When Lorraine called to tell me what had happened, I absolutely could not process it. I like to think that I am someone who can be comforting and provide reassurance and support when needed, but at that moment I was completely useless. There could be no one on this earth less likely to pass so unexpectedly, but anyways there it was.

I wrapped up what I needed to get done in Denver and got home and to Starkville just in time to make it to the visitation. I was really ok until I got up to the front of the visitation line and saw Melvin lying there so peacefully and Jan there at his side, as she nearly always was in life. I can hardly remember a time when I saw one without the other - maybe once when she was passing through Tupelo with the girls but that's about all.

At the visitation and funeral, there was a table on which were placed sheets of paper for people to write rememberances or stories for the family to read and share. I have to admit, I was a little stumped.

The thing is - I don't have any unique experiences to share. I have no funny anecdotes. I can't tell you a story that exemplifies who he was or what he was like.

What I loved about him is the quiet friendly solid presence I always felt. I have known Lorraine for almost 20 years now and so have known Jan and Melvin almost as long. While I didn't go to Mississippi State with many of my friends, I did spend quite a bit of time there and so was at the house from time to time. As Marcus and Lorraine's family has grown, I have been there more and more. Together with Jan, Melvin produced through genetics and upbringing one of the people I love the most in the world. He is the patriarch of one of the big parts of the family I have chosen for myself. He and Jan had a way of inviting and embracing outsiders like me into their family as if we always belonged. I have been invited for some of their family holiday gatherings and I never felt any other way than comfortable and warm and welcome. He always greeted me with a smile and a hug and a genuine interest in me and my life.

He so clearly adored his wife, daughters and grandchildren. And if you were lucky enough to know him, you would find that he opened his arms and heart even wider.

You don't get to meet many people like that in a lifetime.

So, there isn't one story or tidbit I will miss or remember. It is a way of living and being that is so rare that it's loss will be felt by so many for so long. Including me.

DLO

For so long, you were like another set of parents for me. I have wonderful memories of staying with you for weeks at a time through my school years and even while I was in college. I even remember staying at the Len Lew, and at your home behind it. I remember the pool tables and sitting on the barstools while Uncle Melvin showed me how to bend and straighten the tines of a fork. I remember the buffalo across the road, your bulldogs, and the loss I felt when the Len Lew burned. I remember the girls when they were little and keeping them when you needed me to. They were the additional "sisters" to balance all of my brothers.

I'm hearing the sound of dominoes being shuffled, and it always reminds me of Granddaddy and Uncle Melvin teaching us and playing at holidays. Though I've rarely played as an adult, I can compete with anyone. Now, it reminds me that Uncle Melvin is with Granddaddy again.

I know that you have many more loving memories than I do, and I pray that you draw comfort from them all. I want you to know that we all miss him, and we are all with you. I love all of you.

With Love,
DLO

Felicia

I remember . . . .

• riding in the little "hole" in the back of the "Yellow Squash Yuck Bug".

• sitting on a barstool eating pretzels and drinking Sprite.

• learning to play pinball - 10 games at a time.

• eating breakfast in the middle of the night.

• learning to count on the adding machine.

• learning to only use 3 sheets of toilet paper

• learning bulldogs have gas all the time!

• always feeling loved - especially while I wore those loud flowery maternity pants Uncle Melvin picked out!

• "just following her" and dropping flower petals at your wedding.

• riding on the 4-wheeler looking over "the farm".

• not understanding how peanut butter sandwiches were not only good breakfast food but helped cure a stomach bug.

• how Uncle Melvin loved us all.

Felicia

Arthur

Standing by Uncle Harry's casket in his seersucker suit. Solemn & comical. Locking the lid.

Camille

I remember a beautiful, close knit family with great parents and kids on White Drive in the 70's and 80's. May God continue to give you peace in your loss - Camille